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Tuesday, Oct. 22, 2002 - 8:14 p.m. Got up this morning, and I noticed something a little strange about my truck. It must have happened this weekend, but I didn�t notice it until my morning commute. Someone had shot the side of my truck with a paintball gun. The color of choice was orange, and they hit it with a few paintballs, leaving dried streaks running down the side facing the street. Now, I have a few questions for you to ponder. Why my truck? The Hillbilly truck is pretty pathetic looking as it is. I have several areas where even the primer is long gone, exposing the Dodge- manufactured sheet metal to the effects of road salt and moisture. This has given the truck another color to add to the blue, primer gray, chalky white factory primer and shiny bare metal. Rust sets all of those colors off nicely, I must say. Why nobody else�s vehicle, either our cars in our driveway, or anyone else�s parked on the street with my basic transportation? Can�t think of anyone that I have pissed off recently. Not that someone who would shoot a defenseless truck would need a reason. Only a cold, heartless person would gun down another without even knowing them (sound like anyone else out there?) Now, let me make one point: I just laughed when I saw what the paintball sniper had done. Remember, I am talking about this truck:
Since I took that picture last winter, the hood has lost another 25% or so of its paint coverage. Someone egged me (and several neighbors) last spring, but I didn�t notice it for several days (having a junk truck can cause general malaise when it comes to it�s appearance). I just finished hauling sand and horse manure in it last week. As long as the windows don�t get shot out and the tires aren�t slashed, there isn�t much cosmetic that you can do this junker that will upset me. Once I arrived at work I just backed the truck up to the wash bay and quickly removed the orange paint. Took a bunch of my flaking blue paint off, too. I don�t want to take it to a car wash anymore. I might get in trouble with management for clogging their drain with my paint chips��. One other thing that disappointed me about this vandalism: Why didn�t they hit the hood, covering up some of the rust? I wouldn�t have bothered washing it off, if they had been so kind�. Would someone PLEASE just turn in the sniper already? You know this freak (or freaks, as the case may be) has got to have made some mistakes along the line. He has told a friend of his adventures, or hung the neighbor�s pets in his back yard tree, or something equally insane. Sick fucks like this don�t suddenly become this way overnight, do they? If you live in the D.C. area, and some boy you grew up next door to used to like setting fires, or pulling the wings off of flies, or wrote long manifestos on how the .223 long rifle is God incarnate, tell the authorities, would you? SOMEBODY has to know this sick bastard. For the sake of the residents of the east coast, turn him in. That ends today�s public service announcement�� I lied a few days ago. I wasn�t finished canning for the year. Today, I pulled all of the bags filled with hot peppers out of the fridge, and I did two things with them: I filled 9 wide-mouth pints with both whole Jalapeno peppers (3 jars) and sliced rings of the other varieties (the other 6 jars). I made rings out of Ancho, Big Chili, Anaheim, and a few smaller Jalapenos. That left the Habenero, Cayenne, and Thai hot peppers. Since all of these are way to hot to snack on, I put them all in the food processor, added a little water and vinegar, and pureed them until they made a nice slurry. This has been simmering on the stove since 5 pm. I plan on removing it around 9, running it through the processor again, pouring it through a sieve, and then putting it into old hot sauce bottles. I save a few for this use, but I haven�t made any in a few years. Will this mash taste good? Yes, if you can survive the unbelievable heat it packs. A drop or two in your pot of soup or chilli will make it quite warm. No, as long as I don�t splash any of it in my eye, the pain will be reserved for the digestive tract�..
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