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Saturday, Oct. 26, 2002 - 10:07 p.m. Yeah, Lease asked me tonight if I would step aside and let her write an entry. She doesn�t want to write a diary herself, but wanted to express herself tonight. Like I�m gonna say no, right? So, without any changes (except punctuation ;), here is what she wanted to say: Hey guys, its Lease�Thought I�d tell you about my boy Codeman, dinner tonight, and growing old. Yes, all at once. Tonight we had a birthday dinner for my younger sister (Rubes) who is a Grandma! At 41! ..I held her baby granddaughter in my arms and kissed her repeatedly, over and over, and then I told to her �Who�s your favorite aunt?��Then I realized, it�s now �Who�s your favorite Greatest Aunt?�..Talk about feeling old!..Also, Codeman and Chelsea were there. The more I know her, the more I like her..She�s really in to Codeman, which makes a mother feel secure..He�s now a senior in high school..I feel old and not needed any more, I told Roadiepig(not his name, but that�s what you know him as, right) the other day..I never thought about life �past today� when he was young..Now, all of a sudden, I am faced with the new things that I�m not sure I like..Codeman will be deciding where to go to college soon..Now I know that the great philosophers in history are wrong-. I know Roadiepig and I should be living life to it�s fullest , but I�m not so sure life to the fullest shouldn�t include Codeman..I am having trouble adjusting to the fact my son doesn�t need me (other than financially)..I know he knows I love him .I�m just not ready to stop being school mom or baseball mom or anything that has to do with him�Am I getting old or what?..I think its just I don�t want to let go..Everything in Codeman�s life is right, right now. He is safe and secure, with two parents who love him. I know that we will be together forever. We will always be there for him, always...I can�t guarantee his life will be the same once he leaves here..As his mother, I never want him to be hurt..I guess, to wrap this all up in a neat package, I�m insecure, not him�I have to let him go�It�s not easy, I�m growing old and I never thought I would�So, if you are out there and you have young children, remember: love them lots and never get hateful. Yes, never hateful, because love does not include hate. It�s fine to get angry, but not hateful. I have memories.. Memories of time when my siblings had children before I did. I always asked them �Who loves you baby?� and they always said �Aunt Lease!�, not �Great Aunt Lease!� . I guess it comes with age�Not just an Aunt, but a greatest Aunt? Makes me know that I will always be loved, because the tradition continues�.. I don�t have anything to add to what she wrote. I already know I am old�. Since it�s Saturday night, I won�t keep you here any longer. Lease wrote enough for the both of us. I will leave you with one guilty pleasure that I rediscovered today. Microwaved Sugar Babies. What? Microwaved Sugar Babies! I found out about this pleasure a few years back. I had a box of these high-calorie snacks that had sat in the pantry for too long. I took them to work, figuring that someone would eat them, no matter how rock-hard they had become. I can�t remember who came up with the idea, but someone said, �Throw them in the microwave. It couldn�t hurt them!� It worked. What once was a small, rock-hard lump of processed sugar became a molten glob of sweet delight. Here is the recipe (Ha! Like this is a recipe!): Take one snack-sized pack of Sugar Babies (wait until your kids come home from trick-or-treating, if you didn�t buy any to hand out yourself). Toss into your standard small-sized microwave. Set the timer for 15 seconds (a little longer , if they are actually stale), hit the start button, and wait. After the bell dings, CAREFULLY remove the package from the oven. Open, plop individual Sugar Babies (or a small glob, if they melted together) into you mouth (keep some liquid refreshment nearby, in case the hot Babies stick to the roof of your mouth!) Enjoy! What, you don�t buy Halloween candy in varieties that you like? Am I the only one who just buys stuff that I can also throw into my gullet? I better stop this entry here. I think I need to go another 40 minutes on the treadmill, after the big supper I ate tonight and the multiple packs of hot Sugar Babies I just enjoyed�..
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