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Monday, Dec. 02, 2002 - 8:48 p.m. Now, before I go off on a rant here, I will start off by saying that I understand that material things are made by man, and therefore are bound to break. I�m not dealing with any major health issues here. For that, I am grateful. But , if the Fates (or God, or whatever else people want to blame bad luck on) would please leave the rest of my mechanical possessions alone until at least after Christmas, I would greatly appreciate it, thank you very much. What now, you might ask? Less than two weeks ago we had to purchase a new furnace, to replace our defective 7 year-old furnace. Nothing like a $2500 bill a month before the holidays! Last night, Lease called me into the bathroom. She had drawn a tubful of water, only to notice that the hot water was only room temperature. This made no sense, because I had took a shower about 30 minutes before, and the water was plenty warm for me. I took a flashlight down to the basement, and after removing all the covers and such from the front of our gas water heater I found that the pilot light was out. Nothing all that unusual about that, considering the ridiculous winds we had experienced the past 24 hours. I figure the pilot light was blown out by a downdraft into the exhaust flue. I went through the procedure of shutting the gas off, venting the room, and then re-lit the pilot light. It caught on the first try, and when I turned the knob to �heat�, it roared to life. I went back down an hour later, and it was still heating the water. Good deal, right? Wrong. When I came home from work today, I went downstairs to see if the water heater�s pilot light was still on. It wasn�t.
I went through the steps again, and it caught again. It ran for about 15 minutes, and then the burner shut down. I heard the thermostat click, so I figured the water had reached full temperature. One problem, though- the pilot light was off again. Great news! The water heater is almost 20 years old, which I have been told is ancient for one of these creatures. Our city requires a building permit to replace a gas heater. No �do-it-yourself� on this job, unless you want to break the law. Two things I just don�t like playing with: natural gas and electricity wiring. I can do a little work on each, but the possibility of an explosion or personal electrocution makes me pick up the phone to call the professionals. I am keeping an optimistic mind on this. It might just be a bad thermocouple. Whenever these old-fashioned heat sensors go out, it shuts the flow of gas to your appliance. Since most gas appliances now come with igniters, pilot lights are a thing of the past. Since the wiring for the thermocouple wraps around the base of the furnace (through the gas lines, to boot), and the area it is in is too small for my clumsy hands, I will let the plumber I called replace it. If that�s the problem, that is. That repair would run me the cost of a service call, plus less than $10 for the thermocouple. If it�s something worse, I have no option but to replace the unit. No sense in dropping more than $100 in something that can be replaced with a more efficient unit for less than $400. I just wish it had waited until I had a chance to get the furnace bill in the mail�. Wait, that�s not all! Since the water wasn�t totally heat before the burner kicked off, I put a stockpot on the stove to boil a little water for Lease�s bath. I filled the pot, put it on the burner, turned the knob and��. Zizzzztt! The cheap-assed connector for the large front burner had fried again. I should just buy these things by the case. The design (Hotpoint or G.E. brand, if you want to avoid this problem) has several flaws in it, not the least of which is the thin plastic insulation between the two wires. Whenever a heavy pot is put on the grid, everything shifts a little. Over time, this loosens things up enough to cause the wire clips to rub, eventually shorting the unit out. Usually a little puff of smoke and the Zizzztt sound is my signal to replace the unit. Only problem is I am out of them right now. I just used up my last replacement fixture (less than $10 each, thankfully) in the middle of canning season, and I haven�t been back up to by a couple more. I tell you this much- if I hadn�t been stuck replacing the furnace (and now, likely the water heater), the stove was out the door. I have already decided that I wanted to replace it with a nice new gas model. That will have to wait now, I guess�� I�ll leave you with another time wasting web site that I was alerted to today: Arse or Elbow is just what is sounds like it would be. There are 14 photographs on the page. You get to guess whether the photo is of somebody�s arse or their elbow. I managed to get 12 out of 14 right. I don�t know what the means for sure, other than the fact I know an ass when I see one�..
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