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Wednesday, Jan. 14, 2004 - 8:11 p.m. But�.. The Bears finally named their new head coach. The coach�s name is Lovie. Yes, that�s right�Lovie. No, not Mrs. Thurston Howell the Third. This Lovie is a very large man. He was most recently the defensive coordinator for the St. Louis Lambs. That is one strike against him. The fact his defense improved each of the three years he was in that position is good news, but the way they played in important games (like, oh, last Saturday�s unexpected loss to the Panthers? Losing, after giving up 29 points to a relatively week Carolina offence? Hell- the Bears gave up that many points in many of their games last year, too!) does not give me a lot of hope for the future. Oh well�at least they finally have a coach. And Jesse Jackson won�t be protesting the hire, too. See if you can figure out why that won�t be a problem:
That�s right- Mr. Jackson won�t get involved in this hiring because Lovie only wears Timex digital watches. Not one of those expensive Rolex Submariners. You know how much Mr. Jackson hates wristwatch discrimination�.. The second half of the Illini/Northwestern game is already started. Later��.
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