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Thursday, Aug. 26, 2004 - 8:14 p.m.

Multiple uses of the word �FUCK� , along with other protected uses of free speech below�you HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Strange coincidence today.

Both involve the use of �profanity�, one at work, one on an episode of one of my favorite television shows.

This afternoon, Pumpkinhead (the temporary Mohall 1 this month) told Antonio and myself that we cuss too much. He said that the use of the �f-word� upset Beavis, even if he didn�t say so. For that reason, he said he wasn�t going to use any profanity in the office area anymore, and he thought we should cut it out, too.

I think he was actually being serious.

Now mind you- this man flies off the handle as much as anyone I have ever worked around. The slightest thing goes against him, and he blows up. Just because he doesn�t use any of George Carlin�s original �7 Words� most of the time doesn�t mean he isn�t cursing.

I have been making this argument with the �moralists� that I work with for years. Yelling, �Gee Manitly!� or �Peas and Eggs!� (that one I just don�t get, btw) at the top of your lungs when you hit your thumb with a hammer is NO DIFFERENT than yelling�Motherfucker!� in the same situation.

Less poetic, maybe, but still an outward vocal expression of anger at your predicament.

And hypocritical to boot.

Anyway�.

I responded to him by saying, �That�s about fucked up. What fucking difference does it make if I use the word fuck, or the word darn? None, fuckhead. Fuck you very much!�

All said with a smile on my face, and at normal conversation level.

Antonio joined in by saying, �That is Beavis� fucking problem. Fuck him if he can�t take a joke!�, or something like that- all the while cracking up as he said it.

Pumpkinhead laughed too, but still stuck by what he said. He said, �If you think you need to use that word, you should just get out of the office to say it�.

Yeah, right�.

True story- less than 5 minutes later, the computer that Pumpkin was working on froze up, loosing all of the information he had prepared to enter into the database.

�FUCK!� was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

Conditioned response, I guess.

Antonio pointed at him and said, �You! Out of the office with that language!�

Pumpkinhead realized what he had done, and ran from the office laughing out loud. He left us with only one word:

�Gladly!�


Just before sitting down to dinner (in the living room, as is our want), Lease was going through the On Demand Showtime� channel listings to see if there was any new �Penn and Teller�s Bullshit!� episode we haven viewed yet.

There was one- episode 24- �Profanity�.

How�s that for symmetry?

This, by the way, was one of their best episodes yet. In their own way, these two magicians (by trade) find a way to cut right through hypocrites and scoundrels, exposing them for the, well, Bullshit artists they really are.

Especially this woman. Her excuse for the use of �Holy Cow!� for a profanity substitute is priceless. According to what she stated on the show( and as she posted it on her website, which when you try to cut and paste has a pop-up box that says �Unauthorized use is a copyright infringement!�- Bite my ass, you pompous windbag!) quote- �Holy Cow!�, in any language, is a common exclamatory statement used by American young people. I don�t think anyone really believes it offends Hindus. �unquote.

Maybe she should seek out any members of that religion who happen to live near her, and ask them if they find that saying offensive, instead of speaking for them herself?

She might be surprised what they have to say to her.

Or, as Penn himself said on the show (and I am paraphrasing here), �If someone in India drops a bowling ball on their foot, is it then ok for them to yell �Jesus Christ!� outloud? Or is that profanity?�

If you have access to Showtime and are not already watching this show, you are really missing out on some great entertainment.

If the use of profanity bothers you? Since they use it liberally in EVERY episode, maybe you shouldn�t watch their show.

I wouldn�t want to send you where you might get offended, would I?

Antique - Futuristic


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