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Monday, Feb. 14, 2005 - 9:16 p.m. That�s right- I am mad. Very mad. Spitting nails mad. Bought the present Epson printer to replace my old Epson (it only last 2 years, which isn�t that good, but I did print a ton of photographs and other things with it, so I decided to buy another Epson, blah blah blah�) for my computer all the way back in October. LAST OCTOBER! Less than 4 fuckin� months ago! And it is officially dead as I type this entry. Why? The best I can come up with right now is that Epson printers are made of animal dung, somehow reconfigured in a lab in China to look and feel like plastic. Then, once you plug the unit into your computer�s USB port, the hilarity ensues! About the time Christmas rolled around, something strange started happening. Whatever the printer was supposed to by using yellow ink on was coming out vacant, or even worse- black! So- I thought maybe the problem was that the yellow cartridge was out of ink. The low ink light hadn�t come on, and it still was being read by the software as 20% full. I figured maybe it was blocked up or something, so I used alcohol to clean the seat for the yellow ink, and installed a new cartridge. Some yellow printed, but it was still spotty. Rather than try to return this wonderful pile of shit to Circuit City (it was past the 90 days covered in the warranty anyway), I decided to try cleaning the unit one more time. Since the red and blue were now reading �low�, I decided to order another set of replacement carts (aftermarket this time- no reason to give Epson the blood money they want for their OEM stuff). They arrived tonight. I went about cleaning the seats once again (my fingertips look like I just voted in Iraq. Or was fingerprinted at the jail) The foam/plastic head cleaning whatever-its-called thing was covered with ink, so I cleaned it off. Since this item was also made out of the simulated plastic/ dung material, it popped right out of its tiny little slide/holder. After moving the ink holder to the right about an inch to accomplish this re-installation (bad move, Roadiepig!), I turned the machine back on. The track that holds the ink head must have been damaged by my tiny adjustment, because it was now moving back and forth at approximately 5 times the normal speed until it slammed into the right side wall hard enough to scare Jay-dog out of the room. This caused the red flashing light son the front of the printer to flash violently. After restarting the computer several times, I now understand that this is the only thing this printer will do. Am I taking it back to have it fixed? Hell no. It only cost about $70. Any repair they do to it would cost me more than that. What about the ink I just purchased? Well�since I opened both the yellow and one of the black carts that came in the kit ($34, shipping included), I don�t think they will take them back. So, that�s that. I am out around $100, ink included, for a mid-level (price-wise, anyway) printer that only caused me nothing but aggravation for the 4 months it resided in this house. Putting this thing on the curb is too good a fate for what problems it has caused. I think slowly lowering the bucket on our Hyundai loader at work (another absolute piece of garbage that the taxpayers of North Dakota will be paying for for years to come) until tiny shards of plastic/animal dung explode in all directions would be a far more satisfying final use for this headache� SO, CHILDREN, WHAT�S THE MORAL OF TODAY�S STORY? NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, BUT A PRINTER MANUFACTURED BY EPSON! NEVER! EVER! UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BY A PRINTER MANUFACTURED BY EPSON! Don�t say I didn�t warn you� Now- I�m asking y�all for a little advice/help. What brand of printer would you recommend I replace the dung-constructed unit with now? What brands have you had good luck with? Better yet- what brands have caused you similar wasted time/money/aggravation, so I can avoid them too? I just want a printer that can handle text with color, and occasionally print a halfway decent photograph until I can get a real print made at a photo lab. I�m depending on your real-world advice. Just tell me what you think here, in my guestbook I have until this weekend to decide what to drop my hard- earned bucks on. I don�t want to be doing this again for a long time�.
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