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Thursday, Nov. 07, 2002 - 7:38 p.m.

Beware gifts of free candy�you never know where it came from�..

Did a little cleaning in the toolroom today, and I noticed that I had some very old candy that had been shoved to the back of my junk drawer. This is the drawer where I keep personal items, unbilled purchase orders, and my candy stash.

A few guys know that I keep my sugar fix in there, and they take a piece or two if I am not around. Most of the candy doesn�t last long in there: unless it is of some variety that nobody likes.

That�s what ended up shoved to the back, under stacks of paper.

A few pieces of Mary Janes�, a peanut butter flavored taffy that I grew tired of back in August, and an almost full bag of Land-o-Lakes� brand butter-caramel flavored hard candies.

The Mary Janes� were hard when I bought them (a sign that somebody isn�t rotating their stock at the grocery store) and I became tired of trying to dig the chewy mess out of my molars. They died a slow death, languishing in the drawer for almost 3 months.

The Land-o-Lakes� butter-caramel hard candies?

They were awful. I think I ate maybe 5 of them before I decided they weren�t buttery, weren�t caramel flavored, and weren�t fit to be called candy. I think I was secretly hoping that somebody would take a liking to them and leave my favorites alone.

Alas, it was not to be. They sat in the back for at least 4 months. I know hard candy can still be edible for many months, but that didn�t mean I was planning on eating them.

So, in a selfless act, I gathered up these sweet (well, sorta sweet. in the case of the hard candy) old-timers and put them where anyone else would.

I put both bags on the sign-in table around 2 pm.

Then I sat back, waiting to see what would happen to them.

By the time we left tonight (4 pm), only a few Land-o-Lakes� were left unconsumed. Candy wrappers were littering the floor in the first bay. Since I don�t have to police that area, I didn�t mind the mess.

It goes to prove one indisputable fact of life at the State highway department:

If it�s free, somebody will either 1)eat 2)take home or 3)hide as much as they can in their locker.

Never underestimate the cheapness of your fellow workers�


Tomorrow I will restock my candy stockpile.

It will be in another spot, though.

Too many people know about my old hiding place. I have a bunch of � price or lower bags of leftover Halloween candy I purchased last Friday. It�s all good stuff, and I would like to make it last for a while.

Don�t get me wrong: I don�t mind sharing. I just don�t like getting only a piece or two out of a bag before someone else stuffs their pockets full.

I have a few bags of those black and orange wrapped peanut butter kisses (picked up for 35 cents at Jewel) that I will put in the old hiding space.

That should keep them happy.


How bad is the pilfering?

Last Monday, I brought 10 of the small, 10-cent sized Chick-o-Sticks� to work. I put them in the hiding place.

By Tuesday (when I went to the drawer to eat my first one) THERE WAS ONLY ONE LEFT!

Cheap fucks!


Maybe I should consider the stale candy consumed today as paybacks?

Naw. If it was that bad, nobody would have eaten it, would they have?


Enough about candy (like I need to eat it anyway, right?)

I read this in today�s Top Five email. I imagine I will be breaking some copyright law by putting this here, but I will take my chances.

I just wish I had thought of this first:

Rod Blagojevich yesterday became the first Democrat

elected governor in Illinois in the last 30 years.

Blagojevich immediately sought an injunction to

prevent the outgoing Republican administration from

removing all the consonants from state typewriters.

(Michael Cunningham)

See, do you get it? Thirty years of Republicans in charge, and all they had was typewriters. Not computers. And they, being Republicans, wouldn�t think to take the vowels. Why stop at 5 when you can take 21?

Well, I thought it was funny, anyway.

But it�s not entirely correct. Illinois (like us highway workers up here in North Dakota)has those �New Thin Clients� in their buildings, too.

It�s almost a computer, don�t you think?


I can�t believe I wasted this much of your time, talking about candy.

Well, I did promise something more upbeat today.

Can�t get more upbeat than candy�..

Antique - Futuristic


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