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Sunday, Jul. 07, 2002 - 7:41 p.m. You know what I am saying, don�t you? You have made a commitment to do something, but you just don�t think you can follow through with it? Today is one of those days for me. It�s not like nothing happened today. Well, most of it was the same-old, but things happened to and around me, none the less. I don�t know what it is, but I just don�t feel like writing here today. My computer is being a shit. It somehow lost several desktop links today, for no apparent reason. I didn�t do anything to cause them to go away. Must have been caused by the freezeup I experienced last night. I was trying to play a music cd. It was one of those �enhanced cds�. You know, with videos and interviews added as an �extra feature�? Something about that type of cd always messes my computer up. Last night, I had total lockup. I couldn�t even do the �ctrl-alt-delete� routine. I couldn�t even shut the computer off with the power switch. I had to kill the power at the surge suppressor to get things reset. After all that (scan disc included), my computer ran fine. The only problem? The loss of several of my desktop links (Word was one, and I can�t seem to get a new one set up. I have to open Works and click on the Word link to even type this crap. I know it�s no big deal, but it�s still bullshit). My garden is still under attack from wave after wave of Japanese beetles. I sprayed the plants yesterday. It made no difference. This morning you could almost see them flying in formation, landing on the grape vine here, the green beans there. I sprayed about 2 gallons of Sevin� on them (in several passes), and watched as they suffered and died in front of me. Still, this brought no joy. I would much rather go as organic as possible and let the insect world live in a peaceful coexistence with my garden and me. But you just can�t do that, can you? You can turn your check, over and over again, but the insects don�t give a fuck. They just have eating and sex on their minds, and my garden is a perfect playground for them. If I do nothing, they would destroy my garden (and my way of life?) in only a few days. So they leave me no choice. I have to mix up the chemical weapons. I have to counterstrike. If I don�t fight back, they win. And I lose. Lose my harvest and lose all of my hard work. See what I mean? I shouldn�t have written an entry today. Too much negativity. And I don�t like being this way.
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