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Sunday, Jul. 21, 2002 - 7:19 p.m. First off, don�t flame me for what I will be writing below. You don�t have to watch as your crop of homegrown fruit slowly gets decimated��.. I give up! I can�t figure out a way to stop the furry bastards from stealing my crop of peaches. The bird netting isn�t working anymore. They have found ways to get into the tress without using the trunk. I watched one jump from about 10 feet up in the Evil Black Walnut Tree today, breaking his fall on one of the upper branches of the peach tree closest to the fence. I could stand a few being eaten. I really could. But that isn�t good enough for these tree rats. They like to pick a peach, take a bite or two out of it, and then drop it to the ground. Repeat. Over and over again. Yesterday, the local posse managed to leave the ground strewn with partially eaten fruit. I picked up at least 40 wasted Early Alberta peaches. That�s just one day�s worth. Today, I decided it was time to fight back. When the first vermin stopped by, I was still watering the border beds in my garden. Since the high was to reach 97� today, I had to start my work early. It was about 9 am. That�s early for a Sunday, anyway. This rat walked within 15 feet of me, turned and gave me a quick look, and then climbed the fence. From there, he leaped about 7 feet in the air, catching the bottom branches of the peach tree on his way down. From there, he started his assault. He couldn�t have cared less that I was there. Now, these peaches are not even close to being ripe yet. The tree nearest the fence is about 10 days away; the other tree is at least 3 weeks away. That doesn�t mean that they are not candy for the squirrels, thought. I went into the house, got my handy CO2-powered bb gun, and returned to the back yard. When I got within 20 feet of the rat, I steadied my aim and .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .................(Deleted due to graphic violence. No tree rats were killed in the previous story. Some might be limping a little, but they are still alive. Please send all of you angry emails to [email protected]). So, all together I made 6 trips to the back yard today to scare the furry bastards away. I am sure that some of the neighbors think I have lost it, but the rest knew that fact about me many years ago��. I think I have only one thing left in my arsenal to combat these invaders. Cut the trees down. Drastic? Yes. But here is the way I look at it: I love peaches. So do the acrobatic thieves. I can go to the local farmer�s market (held every Saturday morning in downtown Mohall) and buy as many juicy peaches as I want to every week for the foreseeable future. The squirrels can�t. No more bi-weekly spraying of pesticides to stop insect damage, only to see small mammals eating the unripe fruit anyway. No more cleaning up partially eaten fruit. And no more high blood pressure and aggravation caused by rodents. Sounds like a plan. Drastic? Yes. But it beats accidentally shooting out the neighbor�s kitchen window���. Have I mentioned recently that it�s hotter here than a drag racer�s exhaust manifold? Well, it is�� The whole Roadiepig family was in the local newspaper today. The paper�s photographer shot a picture of us chowing down at the Blues and BBQ fest last night. He did get our permission to run the photo, but told us he didn�t know if it would make the paper. This is the same guy who shot the pictures at work last January, for the article they wrote about our mild winter . He is really a great photographer. Let me put it this way: the quality of our local sports photographs went way up when he started working for the paper. Considering the last (and recently deceased) photographer won many awards for his work, that is saying something. I just wished I had worn a tighter-fitting shirt. The loose �gauze� shirt I wore last night helped keep me cool, but in the photo I look like I have a 350lb. beer gut on me. I may be overweight, but not as bad as the picture makes me look. Like I should care, at my age����..
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A hot day for a wedding...9:26 p.m. - Tuesday, Aug. 11, 2009 So bad - but so funny, too.10:33 p.m. - Saturday, Jun. 13, 2009 Evil Black Walnut Tree from Hell!- times up!6:41 a.m. - Thursday, Apr. 23, 2009 My next door neighbor was on the Today Show?8:57 p.m. - Tuesday, Mar. 31, 2009 This qualifies as a "oh crap!" moment:9:55 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 30, 2009 Back to top
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